I've bought two pairs in the time since I started my quest -- the two pictured above -- and had to resell both when they didn't fit. Devastating, but hopefully it brought joy to the new owners.
I don't know when I decided I wanted, nay, needed a pair of oxfords. I'm pretty sure I'm not a hipster, and they seem to like that kind of thing, right? Nor am I a 1980s businessperson.